Invisible
by DeathsShadow000
Summary: Rogue angst ficlet written to my poem, You Can't See Me. I can never leave our favorite goth alone and it looks like another unhappy ending for her. Rogue POV. Please R&R.


DeathsShadow000  
  
Invisible  
  
AN: I actual wrote this for myself, the poem is called You Can't See Me. It describes exactly how I feel sometimes but I decided that I could also use it for my favorite mutie, Rogue. Please enjoy, read and review.  
  
'They stare at me, their eyes whisperin' hatred an' disgust. Ah've known how they felt all along. It's hard not to know when it's there everyday, every wakin' moment...even in my dreams. They stare but they don't see me. How can they? Ah can't take it. It's tearin' me apart inside an' they don't see. They don't see how much it hurts... how much it hurts to be invisible to them.'  
  
You think I can't see the way you look at me  
  
But you can't see the way I look at you  
  
Because you can't see me  
  
No matter how loud I scream.  
  
'Sometimes it hurts...sometimes more than Ah can bear. It hurts to see some one, know them... love them, only... only t' be invisible in their eyes. Sometimes it hurts so much that all Ah want to do is crawl into a corner an' never come out. Sometimes Ah wish Ah were dead an' Ah can't tell you how many times Ah've come close to just.... lettin' go, lettin' go of it all but do they see? Do they even care?'  
  
I saw you today lookin' my way  
  
But you didn't see me.  
  
I saw you today, saw you  
  
Starin' through me.  
  
'Here Ah sit, aside from it all an' it's amazing what you can see when they don't see you, when they stare straight through you. Their greed, their jealousy, their hate, it burns in their eyes, searin' a path straight through my heart. This, my friends. This, my family, yet... pain. Pain is all Ah know thanks to them. It's amazing what you can see when you're invisible.'  
  
You didn't see me  
  
But I saw you.  
  
I'm starin' from the inside out  
  
But all you can see is what you see  
  
Starin' from the outside in  
  
But you see nothingness  
  
Because you can't see me.  
  
You don't want to see me.  
  
I caught you starin' today.  
  
Caught you lookin' my way  
  
But you were lookin' through me.  
  
'Ah see it in their eyes. Ah mean nothing to them. Ah can feel the overwhelmin' disappointment that Ah am to them. Day in, day out, the same... always the same. Always the hatred, always the disgust, always the achin' pain in my heart. What the fuck did Ah do?! Ah don't deserve their hatred! Ah don't deserve their eyes starin' straight through me! Ah don't need their fuckin' asses! Ah don't need their eyes tellin' me that they wish Ah wasn't there. It's already as if Ah'm not. Guess that's what comes with bein' invisible.'  
  
I see the disgust  
  
I feel the hate,  
  
Burning in your eyes.  
  
The overwhelming disappointment  
  
That I am to you  
  
But you don't see.  
  
You don't see how much it hurts  
  
To see you lookin' at me  
  
Lookin' through me  
  
'Cause you wish I wasn't there.  
  
'Fuck ya'll! Every last one of you! Ah can't stand it! Ah can't stand bein' nothin' more n' a pawn, Ah hate being used, Ah hate ya'll for not seein' me an' how much it hurts! Gods, Ah HATE YA'LL!!!! Every fuckin' day, Ah see you an' every day Ah see you starin' straight through me! It's like Ah'm not there to you... wait, that's right. Ah'm invisible to you an' this pain....it grows. It consumes me an' Ah just want t' die. Maybe that's the answer? No longer would Ah have their eyes starin' through me, no longer would Ah feel the hate, the disgust.... the disappointment. It would all end if Ah were dead....or if all of them were.'  
  
Well, fuck you!  
  
I don't need you!  
  
I don't need anyone!  
  
I don't need your eyes starin' at me  
  
Starin' straight through me!  
  
'That's it. Ah'll just kill myself. How hard could it be? Ah'll just go into my room, slip the knife from under my bed an' cut my wrists. A bloody way t' die but at least...at least maybe the pain of death could overcome the pain of livin'...the pain of their eyes lookin' through me. That's it! Ah'll do it after every one's asleep. Then, in the mornin', everyone will finally see me...when they carry my bloody carcass down the stairs. When they bury me six feet under maybe they'll see what they haven't seen? Maybe they'll see just how much it hurts to be invisible.'  
  
I can do without the disgust in your eyes!  
  
I can do without your fucking hate!  
  
I can do without you starin' at me,  
  
Starin' straight through me!  
  
'Ah'm so sick of it all! Sick of ya'll starin' straight through me. Sick of ya'll for not seein'. Sick of screamin', sick of cryin'. Ah'm fuckin' sick of it all! Gods! Why can't ya'll see me! Why can't ya'll see how much it hurts?! How many times have Ah caught ya'll lookin' at me but not seein' me. This is it! No more! Ah just can't fuckin' take it any more! Ah'm endin' it right here an' now! No more hate, no more disgust, no more disappointment, no more pain. No more fuckin' pain!! It ends all here.... maybe Ah won't be so invisible after Ah'm dead.'  
  
I'm sick of it all!  
  
Sick of you,  
  
Sick of you  
  
Starin' straight through me!  
  
Sick of it all,  
  
Sick of you  
  
Sick 'cause you don't see me.  
  
Sick!  
  
Sick of screaming,  
  
Sick of crying,  
  
Crying my eyes out for you!  
  
Sick!  
  
Sick 'cause you don't see me.  
  
You're so fucking blind  
  
That's something I didn't see,  
  
Until I saw you,  
  
Saw you lookin' through me.  
  
Early the next morning a scream of terror and shock pierced the crisp, cool air. Some one finally saw what they'd been missing for so long. Suddenly Rogue wasn't invisible anymore. Too bad that it took a sea of crimson for her to finally be seen but at least... at least there was no more pain. Maybe now, they know what it is like to finally see someone... invisible.  
  
AN: I don't like this. In my opinion it sucks but most of my stuff sucks when it comes to my opinion...this is just crappier than usual. 


End file.
